So I guess I am writing this because, I have lost all my drive and inspiration. I feel like I have hit the wall and everything I try is just making me feel useless. In the last week, I have tried countless times to do SOMETHING NEW, ANYTHING!!! It just isn't happening. I think I got out about 3 lines in a new poem, and then just erased it. Same with my music, I get out a couple notes and then just scrap the whole thing.
The sad part is, I'm not barely even getting outta bed anymore!!! I have a laptop, so I can mess around with notes and piano rolls on one of the instruments in my music programs, but as far as "real" playing, I can't even force myself to get up and play!! I have had a few ideas in my head, but just can't find the inspiration to get up and actually start working them out. I even went so far as to install some new VST's(Virtual Studio Technology(guitars, violins, bass, etc)) to try to make a new song that way. I get out a few notes and then just start messing around and lose focus. Then when I play it back, it is nothing like I imagine and I erase the whole thing.
I hope you don't mind listening to me whine for a bit.I figured I better force myself to do something productive, so I decided to write this. I couldn't think of anything to write about, so I figured, why not write about how much my life has sucked this last week or two!! I think the main problem is the fact that I just did too much too soon. I was on this mad tear to upload all my stuff on the internet, so I found as much content as possible and posted it everywhere I could find. Now, I've kinda ran out of stuff to post. I don't know if it is because I feel like no one is really checking my stuff out, or if it is that I have run out of ideas. Either way, I am left uninspired!!!
I guess every creative person goes through a dry patch. I just didn't expect it all to dry up. The worst part for me is, even if I did have some million dollar idea, I am just too lazy right now to do anything about it. I know....Waaahhhh, right?!?!?! I mean, this blog is short, but it has already taken me two tries to get this far. I feel like I should be able to just force myself to at least write this.
Its not like I'm depressed. Depression is just a part of life that I have learned to deal with. I'm either extremely happy or extremely depressed. You know, edge of sanity depression(not really suicidal though, I'm have too much of an ego for that{I know that sounds messed up, and it is, completely, that is just another part of my wonderful existence}), but depression is better than what I am going through now. Usually, when I am depressed the creativity will just start flowing. This funk I am in now, feels like absolute nothing!!! I can't really explain it. Numb isn't the right word either. I care, it's not like I don't give a fuck. I could probably lie and say that though. "Oh Who care's, it's not a big deal.." Sadly though, it is a big deal, I am locked in my own mind and can't find the key.
I guess I am just spending way too much time on this computer. I'm on this thing almost every minute I am awake. So maybe a break is something I really need anyways. I will say, I am still watching endless tutorials on everything I can think of. So I guess after this (hopefully) passing phase, maybe I will get back to overloading myself with new material. Then after a few more months will be right back where I am now.... COMPLETELY BURNT OUT!!!!
The sad part is, I'm not barely even getting outta bed anymore!!! I have a laptop, so I can mess around with notes and piano rolls on one of the instruments in my music programs, but as far as "real" playing, I can't even force myself to get up and play!! I have had a few ideas in my head, but just can't find the inspiration to get up and actually start working them out. I even went so far as to install some new VST's(Virtual Studio Technology(guitars, violins, bass, etc)) to try to make a new song that way. I get out a few notes and then just start messing around and lose focus. Then when I play it back, it is nothing like I imagine and I erase the whole thing.
I hope you don't mind listening to me whine for a bit.I figured I better force myself to do something productive, so I decided to write this. I couldn't think of anything to write about, so I figured, why not write about how much my life has sucked this last week or two!! I think the main problem is the fact that I just did too much too soon. I was on this mad tear to upload all my stuff on the internet, so I found as much content as possible and posted it everywhere I could find. Now, I've kinda ran out of stuff to post. I don't know if it is because I feel like no one is really checking my stuff out, or if it is that I have run out of ideas. Either way, I am left uninspired!!!
I guess every creative person goes through a dry patch. I just didn't expect it all to dry up. The worst part for me is, even if I did have some million dollar idea, I am just too lazy right now to do anything about it. I know....Waaahhhh, right?!?!?! I mean, this blog is short, but it has already taken me two tries to get this far. I feel like I should be able to just force myself to at least write this.
Its not like I'm depressed. Depression is just a part of life that I have learned to deal with. I'm either extremely happy or extremely depressed. You know, edge of sanity depression(not really suicidal though, I'm have too much of an ego for that{I know that sounds messed up, and it is, completely, that is just another part of my wonderful existence}), but depression is better than what I am going through now. Usually, when I am depressed the creativity will just start flowing. This funk I am in now, feels like absolute nothing!!! I can't really explain it. Numb isn't the right word either. I care, it's not like I don't give a fuck. I could probably lie and say that though. "Oh Who care's, it's not a big deal.." Sadly though, it is a big deal, I am locked in my own mind and can't find the key.
I guess I am just spending way too much time on this computer. I'm on this thing almost every minute I am awake. So maybe a break is something I really need anyways. I will say, I am still watching endless tutorials on everything I can think of. So I guess after this (hopefully) passing phase, maybe I will get back to overloading myself with new material. Then after a few more months will be right back where I am now.... COMPLETELY BURNT OUT!!!!
